Self Help Book a Success

Regret-Free Living
Hope for Past Mistakes and Freedom from Unhealthy Patterns
by Stephen Arterburn

As a Christian Counselor, Stephen Arterburn offers help in the area of relationships. His newest book,  Regret-Free Living, is a great resource for those with unhealthy relationships. We all have them. Whether it is a co-worker, family member, or spouse, we are involved in a relationship that doesn't feel right.

Arterburn begins by discussing the "markers of defective relationships (p. 23)" by helping you identify what it is that is creating the unhealthy patterns in your relationships. Whether it's putting yourself first, secrecy, or resentment to name a few, the reader can put themselves in thought as to what is wrong in their failing relationship.

From there, the author helps the reader to admit their mistakes and how to fix the situation. "Living a regret-free life means being honest about everything you did to help create regrets and honest about how you felt when someone else was hurtful to you (p.93)." A person must turn to God for help so that person can be honest and face their mistakes.

Sometimes, though, it seems as though the relationship is not getting better. You've tried everything and it's not going forward. "Not all important relationships, however, will transform for the better; sometimes one of the people is simply not willing to do the work. But before you give up, be sure that you do put forth the effort to make that relationship all that it could be (p.98)." Then the author adds, "if it does end, and you can't fix it, then you'll want to know, for the rest of your life, that you did everything you could to make it right (p.99-99). Eventually, you'll just have to "let it go. Recognize when it's over and let it die the natural death it should (p.102).

What I like about this book is that the author himself isn't afraid to admit his failures in past relationships. How many self-help books have you read where you have felt as though the author seems as though they are perfect or without fault of their own? But this Christian counselor offers practical advice while admiting his previous failures making it easier to identify and connect to this book.

Admittedly, I have relationships of my own that need mending or repairing. This book has helped answer some very important questions I've had in my life in regards to certain relationships. I will definitely keep in on my bookshelf for reference in the future.